YES!!!
im saying now. im back.
i had cried my stress out just now while on the phone wif Mok. I cried the feeling of anger, tired and stress. After 1 year since the time i really cried of anger, i tot im strong enuf now. And today, i did cry again. And im sick of it. I am so tired and exchausted today that i nearly faint just now.
i know why im soo stress always. It is becos of the lack of planning properly and the worrying of things. I focus too much on the items that i forgot the time. I worried too much that if things goes wrong. And also, i keep doing work myself and worrying. That is why im soo stress. yes. That is why, i been thinking alot today. and finally, i came to an understanding that i will really stand to.
From now on, i will really take my full position as the leader. I will really act as a leader, plan the way i shud wif the committee, and assign works. Last time, i always tried to put a strong front infront of people so as not to make them worried. When things are not fine and too much for me, i keep saying its okay and etc becos i wanna have the strong look. But hey... if i am gonna be stress alone, den why bother put the others in the committee rite.
So, its no more me doing all the damn work. I mean it. For so many time, i tried to make everyone happy. Tried to compromise everything wif everyone. But that is what a FRIEND do. BUT now i am a leader of a club. I will do what me and priya think is best for the club. I cant be too focus on someone's feeling and ignore the rest. From now on, im gonna do what i should have done. I will plan out properly, i will assign work and make sure ppl do it, and i will do what i think is best for the club. I had tolerated enuf and now, i will take a full responsibilities as my role of a leader. I realized i had been too lenient as to do works by myself and etc. And that end me up in stresses. but now NO MORE. If i am gonna stress out, the whole committee WILL stress out too. If i am gonna be happy, the whole committee WILL be happy. From now on, everything will be more organised. After a cry just now, i feel more strong and more better. I am more determine now.
And as to people's getting into the things and etc, i dont mind much but there is also quite a limit. Im not saying anyone but in general. This i have to stand strongly to becos this committee will work on a different way. This is new faces, and thus new ways of learning and working. Yes, i would love helps and suggestions but i guess that is as far as it goes. i have to say this if i am ever gonna act as my real role and take control of things. Yes.
I feel much better now. And i feel much happier and motivated. Yes, i still stick by the word i said, i believe in everyone. From now on, i will act as my role properly and try my best to make the best of things.
*i feel re-born*
~tata~
Fadz Was Last Hear At; 11:14 PM
